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- I decided to get married.
- Why?
- What do you mean "why"? I'm in love!
- What does love have to do with marriage in our state agencies legislation? Who forbids you to love?
- Well ... she insisted ...
- You agree to meet all her Wishes? What about your own desires and interests?
- Well ... uh-uh, I want kids.
- Kids do not come from a marriage.
- Uh, well, isn't that's how it so-pose to be!
-Who said?
- ..... Uh-uh.
- Well, what do you get when you get married?
- Well ... like ... wife.
- Wrong. Under the current law wife doesn't have to be loyal, but also don't have to live with you. She don't even have to have sex with you if she don't want to. So what do you get?
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 MadRomas
 Jokes and Pearls
 03.19.2013 - 12:25
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(A well-dressed, middle-aged man comes up to me with a friendly smile.)
Customer: “Excuse me, I’m sorry to be a bother. Could I possibly get change from you?”
Me: “Okay, come up to the till. I’ll help you out.”
Customer: “Thank you so much.”
(He hands me three ˆ20 note.)
Customer: “If I could get a ˆ50 note and a ˆ10 note out of this, it’d be really helpful.”
(I take the three ˆ20 notes, and hand him back the change.)
Customer: “Thanks. Sorry, but could I ask one more favor? Could I just get two ˆ1 coins for this?”
(He hands me a ˆ2 coin. I am feeling slightly suspicious now. I turn back to the till, take out the two one-euro coins, and hand them to the man. He doesn’t move.)
Me: “Is there something else?”
Customer: “You never gave me the ˆ50 note.”
Me: “I’m pretty sure I did.”
Customer: “No, you definitely didn’t.”
Me: “Sir, I’m not giving you any more money. If you would like, you can come back during closing. If we’re ˆ50 over the end of day report, I will be happy to rectify my mistake. However, I’m absolutely positive I did not make one.”
Customer: “Are you, really? This is ridiculous. You did not give me the money!”
Me: “I think I did.”
Customer: “You couldn’t have made a mistake? How are you so sure?”
Me: “Because the corner of the ˆ50 note I gave you is sticking out of your sleeve.”
(Turns out he had done it to all the other shops on the st
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MadRomas
Jokes and Pearls
03.19.2013 - 08:59
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(It’s a slow night, so I take out some of my craft supplies. As I’m piecing together an earring, a regular customer walks into the store. I smile as I tuck away my supplies.)
Me: “Hello! How’re you this evening?”
Regular: “Good! What were you doing just now?”
(I pull out the earring.)
Me: “Oh. I was making a pair of earrings to pass the time.”
Regular: “You make earrings?”
Me: “Yeah, I’ve made a few necklaces too.”
(I pull my necklace out of my shirt to show him.)
Regular: “That’s really nice. Hey, I’ve got some beads and stuff that my wife bought. We were going to make jewelry to sell, but we never got around to it. When I get home tonight, I’ll get her to help me dig out some of the beads. I’ll bring them in, or send them with Mom, okay?”
Me: “Okay, thanks!”
(A week later, his mother comes into the store. She hands me a package containing dozens of hand-blown glass beads, along with a note.)
Mother’s Note: “These are just some of the beads. Hope you can use these in your jewelry making. We’re still trying to dig the rest of them out. It may take a few more trips, but we’ll get them all to you.”
(It’s the nice people like that who make my job worthwhile!)
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MadRomas
Jokes and Pearls
03.19.2013 - 08:59
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(A familiar looking lady approaches the front counter, but I can’t remember where I’ve seen her before. She speaks briefly to a colleague that is manning the front counter, who comes over to me.)
Colleague: “This lady wants to return this DVD because she claims it doesn’t work. Take a look at the disc.”
(I take a look at the disc, and it is severely scratched.)
Me: “Well, that’s clearly why it’s not working. Did she say she bought it like that?”
Colleague: “Yeah. She said she opened it and the disc was already like that.”
(All of our DVDs come with security seals which are unlocked when purchased, so I know this isn’t the case. I look at the DVD title in our system, and notice we have not sold any in the last four weeks. I remember this same customer has tried to return DVDs in the same condition before.)
Me: “Hello, ma’am. How are you today? Now, were you the customer that was after a refund for this DVD?”
Customer: “Yes, it doesn’t work.”
Me: “Okay. Now did you have a receipt for it? That way I can clear up a few things.”
Customer: “No, I don’t have a receipt! I didn’t think I’d need one!”
Me: “Okay, that’s fine. Now when did you purchase this DVD?”
Customer: “Last week! Why is this even an issue?”
Me: “Well, I have just checked our records. It shows that we haven’t sold a copy of this DVD is over a month. So, either you’re lying to me, or you’ve stolen it. In either case, you ar
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MadRomas
Jokes and Pearls
03.19.2013 - 08:58
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(It is a busy Saturday night. During the dinner rush, I have been dealing with a table of two 20-something year old men. The blonde one has found something to complain about every time I’ve walked by while the brown-haired one just blushes and stays quiet. They’ve finished their meal.)
Blonde Man: “Are you new here?”
Me: “No, sir. I’ve been a waitress here for two years and three years at [other restaurant] prior.”
Blonde Man: “Then you have no excuse for how terrible this service was. The salad was wilty, and the entree was way too cold, and you were nowhere to be found. Plus, this place is far too noisy; I could barely hear myself speak! Honestly, I get better service at a fast food place.”
Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. While there isn’t much I can do about the noise, I did offer to bring you different food before, but you said no.”
Blonde Man: *waves me off* “Just bring me the check, and try not to be so slow about it for once.”
(I go and get the check, but when I return, the brown-haired man stands up and hands me a $20 bill.)
Brown-haired Man: “Here, this is your tip. He wasn’t going to give you one. As a former waiter myself, I thought you were doing a perfectly fine job. My food was great, and the service was fast even though you’re so busy right now.”
(He turns to his blonde companion.)
Brown-haired Man: “People like you made my job so much worse, especially for making us work that much harder
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MadRomas
Jokes and Pearls
03.6.2013 - 13:52
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(I am half Polish, and fluent in the language, but have lived in England all my life so speak without an accent. Between my degree and my masters, I get a job in a pound shop—everything costs £1—to earn some money. I am on tills and call two young women forward.)
Me: “Can I help you?”
(The customer dumps her items on the counter without acknowledging me, and then turns to her friend and speaks in Polish.)
Customer #1: “Look at this dumb b****! How bad must your life get to work here?!”
Customer #2: *in Polish* “I know! And she judges us for being Polish! All English people are so racist!”
Me: *in Polish* “That will be £7, please.”
Customers #1 & #2: *both turn red and hurry out of the shop*
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MadRomas
Jokes and Pearls
03.6.2013 - 13:45
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(I am a female woodworking student, shopping for a specific kind of saw in a hardware store. There’s only one on the shelf, so I grab it and start to move towards the register.)
Customer: “You can’t have this saw.”
Me: “And why not?”
Customer: “Because I need it!”
Me: “Well, I’m sorry about that, but I picked it up first when you weren’t even near it. They’ll probably order some soon.”
Customer: “Give it to me, I really need it.”
Me: “As much as I do. I’m sorry, sir, but it’s mine.”
Customer: “I clearly need it more than you; you’re a woman! You can’t have any use for a saw!”
Me: “I’m sorry sir, but I’m doing woodworking and I need this saw for an order a client placed with me. I am not going to give it to you and delay my client’s order.”
Customer: *sheepishly* “Oh, I’m sorry, I couldn’t know… If I knew you were a woodworker, I wouldn’t have said that.”
Me: “You shouldn’t make sexist comments like that, regardless of what field I work. Every woman is allowed to buy a saw… not only woodworkers.”
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MadRomas
Jokes and Pearls
03.6.2013 - 13:43
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Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself.
"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"Excuse me?" the accountant said.
"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."
"I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?"
"I'll start you at eighty thousand."
"Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"
"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."
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MadRomas
Jokes and Pearls
03.6.2013 - 13:39
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Mobile version of VJ for easy viewing. Now, it's not a complete mobile version. This is only for easy viewing of front page only.
If you're at work or on the go, have free time and bored. Just go to your mobile browser and type:
http://vipjournal.net/m
This is so you don't have to wait for other stuff to load while you on the phone, and you just want to see the pictures, videos and story's.
Give it a try!
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MadRomas
Announcements
03.5.2013 - 14:13
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We have created a new feature in our web site!
If you like the post and find it funny or useful but to lazy or just don't want to reply, it's ok, just hit the "LIKE IT" button.
Very simple and easy to use. Try it for your self 
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MadRomas
Announcements
03.4.2013 - 22:29
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04.8.2013 - 16:48
